Sports Fans Are All a Bunch of Drunks

     A new study conducted by the University of Minnesota shows that eight percent of sports fans are legally drunk when they leave the game. This comes as a great disappointment to me, public safety officials, as well as beer distributors. Just eight percent!?! Pathetic!

     The UMinn study sampled departing fans and found that 60% of fans had no alcohol in their system, so I presume this test took place after a BYU game. Forty percent had drunk alcohol, and 8% were over the .08 BAC legal limit.

     For a typical 180 lb male or a typical 180 lb. Minnesota female, it takes about 3 – 16 oz. beers to get that high. Let’s put this in proper context. Three beers are more than the average patron consumes at the movies, grade school plays and operas. It’s absolutely less than the average patron at bars, frat parties, N.E. Patriot’s games or a Motörhead concerts.

     Implied in this study is the notion that alcohol is bad (it was funded by a substance abuse group). And it isn’t! People who drink alcohol and do bad things are just bad people. It’s entirely acceptable to go to the stadium and drink the game away, as long as you’re not an asshole. Don’t start fights. Don’t drive drunk. Stay thirsty my friends!