Holiday Plan

       Thankfully, the holidays are over! I do love my family but barely tolerate my extended families and only in very, very short doses during the forced & grueling holiday, family visits. Clearly, they should feel the same way about me because at this season’s family soirée I deliberately dropped a relentless, staccato barrage of offensive statements aimed at everyone and a very heavy BP oil-like slick of offensive odors for all holiday revelers to painfully share. Maybe, I took it a bit too far when I “Sal Alosi’d” my mother in law and then pleaded defensive indifference. She deserves better, as I really like the chartreuse, XXL Burmese Yak wool sweater she gave me this year – NOT! Mercifully, this was all done by clever design in preparation of holidays to come – UNCLE DON IS NO LONGER INVITED :)!