'Roid Rage on the Grill !

BBQ Nation is not immune from the social ills of American life. Yes, steroids have crept into the culture of BBQ.  Sadly, it is now common practice of the Kansas City BBQ Society to require pee tests for all BBQ competitors. Some of the competing teams look more like fully juiced W.W.E. performers or ‘roid raged Mixed Martial Arts dudes. Pathetically, there is a dude on the BBQ competition circuit whom goes by the moniker “The Smoking & Choking Vortex of BBQ Death” Randy Stone.

BBQ team names used to be cute, folksy, reasonably humorous and home spun like; “Uncle Billy’s BBQ Team”, “Swine Time Lucille”, “3 Fat Guys & a Smoker” and “Hog Day Afternoon”. But, since Vince McMahon and steroids have tainted the backyards of America, we now have team names like; “BBQ Team Balco”, “Raging & Ripped Rib Goliaths”, “What’s Your Problem? BBQ Team” and “Pumped & Punishing Porcine Pugilist & BBQ Squad”.

     As the commissioner of BBQ Nation, it is my responsibility to clean up this sticky and greasy BBQ steroid mess. With the help of plenty of napkins and an occasional handy wipe, I will return the integrity of the sport of BBQ and recreational home smoking. I will be working with MLB (Major League Barbecue) and report back to you soon with an in depth, BBQ sauce stained study and a fully tested BBQ 12 step recovery program.

     Finally, for the time being, fire up your backyard grills and smokers and then “Just say no!” Sadly, “No and slow.” will become the new mantra of BBQ.

Just say no and slow !