WTF, no Patriots again this Sunday?!?

I have had to painfully endure 2 straight Sundays without my Patriots. I did make good, creative use of my quasi football free Sundays. I made a visit to the live free or die state of New Hampshire to load up my Toyota 4 Runner full of 62 cases of Four Loko. My state’s brilliant legislature says I cannot handle 6 cups of coffee and the equivalent of 8 beers in one colorful 20 oz. can. Fuck them!  I prefer the live free and die mantra.  I will be illegally Four Loko pre gaming all day Monday, preparing for that cataclysmic clash of gridiron greatness - MNF @ 8:30.  WTF – how can they be the NY Jets if they play in NJ? They are F-R-A-U-D-S, frauds, frauds, frauds! Understand bitches!!!

            Thankfully, a sympathetic television programmer brilliantly chose to air the Victoria Secrets Fashion Show during this 10 day Patriot’s free nightmare.  Clearly this softened the edges of my crack like Patriot’s withdrawal symptoms. Look at that fantastic front seven of team VS. I dvr’d the VS program Tuesday and it has looped continuously since. It gets a bit trippy if you shotgun a 4Loko and view it in rewind. Don’t laugh until you try it, bitches!